Hi,

Has anyone read this. It's quite similar to AP ideas in that the author promotes co-sleeping and carrying baby but she does not agree with cue feeding as she thinks sometimes baby use b feeding as a crutch and don't vent their true emotions thro crying. She advocates that instead of rocking/feeding/playing with a fussing baby to calm them it's better to let them cry in your arms.......to be honest I'm a bit annoyed that I read the book cos now I am once again confused about the best approach to take with my little fella. On the other hand I agree that after a good cry in someone's arms I do feel better so therefore babies most likely do too.

What are people's thoughts on this?

hi

I haven't read this book but I disagree that babies shouldn't be bf on cue. For me AP is about following our instincts and it goes against my instincts not to offer the breast when my baby is crying, or indeed offer anything else (such as rocking etc) to calm him. While a good cry in someone's arms can be a good thing, I generally feel better myself when I stop crying!

HTH venice x

Sounds a lot like Solter writings?

Hi Avy,
My DD was the first baby I ever held - I never changed a nappy until her. Therefore, I read and read and read tonnes of books - some of which I found useful tips and others made me strongly disagree and therefore helped me to make parenting choices too. But, it took me a long time to stop reading the books and to start reading my child.

There is a reason there are so many books on parenting out there, and a reason why so many contradict each other - every child and every parent is different. What works for one may not work for another. Find out what works for your child and you. Some babies may be a bit windy or nervous and therefore more likely to cry for reasons other than hunger, tired, wet/ dirty and they may need to be simply held while crying. Other babies will simply cry when they need a physical need attended to. The trick is to figure out what is the temperment of your baby and to learn the different crys? You know your own baby much better than any "expert" author! Go with your gut feelings and have confidence in your parenting skills.

Thanks Scuba,

That's a lovely reply, I think the book has helped me realise that sometimes DS might just need a good cry in my arms to get some upset out of his system and that I don't need to be so quick to rock or walk with him. Weird but since I've read the book DS doesn't seem to cry as much at all. (He hasn't been a big crier since 8 weeks really). Think it might be to do with the fact that I'm less anxious now when he cries. Funnily enough too I'm am less into the idea of reading anymore books either before I felt a huge need to get the answers from books too. I must be settling into my own skin as a parent. Feels great!

Salento probably didn't explain that quite right as she was making the point that breastfeeding should be done when the child is hungry (on cue) rather than as a panacea to all the child's problems as if it is done everytime a child fusses the child may end up with some feeding problem later in life. She was also saying that a child may just need a good cry in your arms instead. i can see her point about figuring out what the child wants really rather than just offering feeding as a solution to every problem. But not so sure about the crying in your arms bit...

Kate - author is Aletha J Solter. What do you think of her ideas?

I'm happy that somebody else has read this book. I'm also confused if my baby (now 2 months old) uses my breast for a dummie or just needs to feed.

My baby is sometimes fussy when I'm breastfeeding, but one time I heard her tummy, so she was in a lot of pain. The breastfeeding also helps to get the bowlmovement to start.

But my oppinion is that Aletha Solters does prever breastfeeding on cue, but that you have to be aware that the baby doesn't use it to prevent crying.

We also use Dunstan Baby Language. This helps a lot! So we know what she means. And we found with the hikups, my baby needs a little drink, then it's gone!