Hi,

Most of my friends aren't AP or don't know about it. I'm a bit unsure as to how to explain how we bring our son up cos I don't want to imply that I disagree with what they are doing or I think that their child is being neglected in some way if you know what I mean.

I was thinking of just saying something like we are not routine focussed, we wear him in the sling a lot. Anyone else have any ideas on this?

Sorry didn't explain that very well. I'm speaking of my new friends who are also new mums so prob a bit on the sensitive side too

i usually say i am just following my instincts in parenting & that i dont read any of the parenting books out!

That's gas Bibble. That's kind of what I imply I suppose but doesn't it annoy you a little the looks of surprise/shock/pity that you have no 'routine'. I would in some way like to say that there is method to my madness. Maybe I could say just that and make a joke of it!

I say pretty much the same as Bibble, we don't have parenting books, go with the flow and do what feels natural/instinctively right. We only just recently found out htat there is a name for it

I say here that i treat my children as I would like to be treated myself.

I prefer not to describe my overall parenting style, unless people specifically ask, but rather tackle it issue by issue. For example now that ds is 18 mo people have started to question and criticize the breastfeeding. I simply say that I will continue to breastfeed him until he needs it and if they ask further I quote the millions of studies that show that bfd babies are brighter, healthier, happier and more beautiful! With cosleeping I explain that it's nicer and easier for all of us.

I try not to preach but rather be a good example. Still, most people think we are mad but I think they did before we had kids anyway!

Good luck

venice x

I always have to stop myself gasping in horror any time I see a newborn with a bottle or being left to cry - or when I see a toddler with a bottle of fizzy pop and chrisps for breakfast etc - basically anything I would never do myself. However, these parents are doing what they feel is right and best for their child. Who am I to judge them or try to teach them. When other mums are all discussing the "best" formula or the new high sugar child snack for their 3 month old etc I just stay quiet. (Which is hard for me - but I am working on it!!).

I know my parenting style is very different from many of my friends and relatives. I know many of them feel sorry for me and for my kids. Many of them tut-tut or take pity on me/ my family and I admit I do the same at them. But, one reason I like loggin on here and attending LaLeche meetings - there are other like-minded people out there too! Slaento is right, don't bother to try to explain the entire AP concept - just answer each query as it is asked.

I do have the same feelings. We were visiting friends who also have a little one. The boy was crying and they only put a dummy in his mouth. The boy wanted to spit it out and they just put it back in and prevented from spitting out. Then they put him in the play-box. The poor baby!

Me and my husband weren't saying anything because wecould see that they meant well but don't know any better.
And unless they are asking us for advice, we aren't saying anything ever!!! We want to keep them as friends. And with somethings we have to accept that not everybody is the same. If we like it or not.