Hi all

I just finished reading HOTYK and I thought it was fascinating. The only other 'parenting' book I've ever read was the Continuum Concept, which kind of got me into the whole AP thing in the first place.

I really feel like HOTYK is the 'other side' of AP. Hardly any mention of all the AP practices, such as extended bfing, cosleeping, babywearing etc. And a very child centred approach. TCC seems to encourage peer relationships and learning, along with adult orientated attachments.

I feel that I will be able to share this book more easily with more mainstream friends than TCC. It doesn't alienate my mum or other mum firends as I know they instinctively feel strongly about attachment and connection, even if they've never heard of AP.

I also felt HOTYK was very much based on North American culture. They keep referring to Provence in the book and that seemed to have a lot in common with southern Italian culture, where I live.

I am very interested to hear others' opinions on this.

Venice x

Hi venice, sorry that iit took so long for me to reply...I am having a lot of difficulty keeping up with discussion forums in two languages and on two interrelated topics but yet divided never the less....Im alwasys saving posts from the cc forum to answer you, but never do (

I find the book HOTYK to be an excellent fulling of just what is "cc" about practicing connection parenting...it provides a sort of blueprint for what this looks liek (and what it shouldnt look like) in different situations, thru out the whole parent child relationship over time.

I like how he describes "collecting" in which I gathered it to be a series of almost innate ( meaning continuum-directed) connecton maintaining "rituals" and actions...(sorry its early and Ive been thinking in italian alot lately...my writing is stilted!)

if you would like to discuss the book, Id love to! It is one of my favorites right now for recommending to others. So much in his book just put into words what I have been learning, intuitively (and by much error () over so many years of living with little (and older) children...it really helped me to jumpstart our connection levels. And in connection with the realization of just how important the tribe is to our childrens and our own well being, this book gave me some fantastic inspirations on just what is lacking (and how those lacks can be antenuated) in raising children in a nuclear family structure. It all boils down to "collection" as Neufeld like to call it. I wrote a piece on the tcc forum I think in2006 summer, just after I read the book...I still think that was a good bit of inspired writing )

Let me know if you'd like to discuss the book...
xxxmelissa who wishes that the italian boot was more of a sandal...so that we were a bit closer, lol...
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Thanks for writing Melissa.

I would love to read what you wrote on the list in 2006 about the book but I don't know how to search for it without your email address which I don't have, all our old emails got wiped last week

Maybe you could post it on here? Maybe other people would be interested too.

I would definitely like to discuss HOTYK with you and other people, I think it is fascinating and there are so many different elements to it that are worth exploring.

As this is the European AP forum I would be particularly interested to hear how it relates to different cultures within Europe. I definitely feel that kids here in Italy have many more adult connections than their contempories in the UK (where I grew up).

ciao ciao

venice x