hello all
i am wondering about my sons temperment. i am so use to him he is normal to me, but recently three people made comments to me that make me wonder .
when he was born he was definately high needs, always needed carrying, constant feeding, short naps in arms. as he grew there was no routine with him. he slept little in the day and woke several times at night.
he is now almost five and still wakes at night 13/14 nights . he eats little and has boundless energy. he has a good attention span for what interests him. he doesnt follow instructions easily. i am amazed when i ask him to repeat a request- he has rarely got it right. he gets very upset about certain things and needs to know everything in advance to be prepared. he has amazing agility and can sit quietly listening to stories. most of the time though i have to keep up with him. in the supermarket which we rarely go to together i have to keep him constantly involved, think one step ahead, if not he will be into every thing .
i left him for a morning with a neighbour who has three girls. when i collected him he said "phew one morning with him was more exhausting than a whole day with his three daughters". another friend frankly asked me if he had obsessional defiant dissorder, because he is constantly disrupting if he is not constantly stimulated. a third person said i should have him assessed so that he can be helped in school rather than being labelled disruptive uncompliant later on.
i know my son is exhausting, but he has a very active heart too. he is really loveing, generous and caring . i want the world to see all sides of him not just the sides that can annoy us.

does anyone have similar experiances? can anyone offer advice? i would appreciate hearing anything you have to contribute

blessings
Hilary

Hi Hillary,

from how you describe his behaviour he reminds me of my first son.

A book which helped me a lot with understanding and helping him with his temperament was Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Quite an AP minded book as well btw. There's also a workbook.

My son turned out to be an extreme visual thinker (he was also late at talking and didn't understand instructions in words, I had to show him) with sensory integration challenges for which he had some therapy.

I still have to remind myself at times that he's a unique person and that normal or average don't exist but in statistics

If you suspect in anyway he has sensory integration issues (which I don't exactly from your description), there's plenty of good information but you cannot really tell in detail unless he's tested, which was not very invase, more like fun play in our case.

The visual-spatial part can lead to very original thoughts I have some good books and information but only in Dutch. You might want to google for visual spatial learning or thinking. It sure runs in our family, so maybe you recognize other family members if this plays into his behaviour. I found out because of the late language skills.

grts,
Bernadette

thank you for your reply bernadette,

the book spirited child sounds very apt for my son. he is wonderfully spirited energetic and lively, unfortunately this doesnt work well in school or in after school activities. this is why i want to help him to channel his energy and not exclude himself from other quieter activities.
my son had no speach delay. he is bilingual- spoke english and french from the start and seperated them since he spoke his first words to me, " mammy look a cow" papa regard une vache". he is now learning german at school. we live in german speaching area. so i dont think that is the issue.
i will be going out to get the book you recommend. thanks
blessings
Hilary

Hi Hillary,

just wondered, how is your son doing now?

greetings,
groetjes,
Bernadette